One of my best friends, who recently became a mother, shared a post from Scary Mommy titled To My Friends Who Became Mothers Before Me. Seriously, go read this. If you were the first of your friends to take the jump, or if you're still living it up in your freedom years while we pick boogers at 2 am, you need to read this.
My friend that shared this post, apologized for asking so many random, strange questions in her 6 months of motherhood and the
This particular friend just fed her daughter carrots for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and asked me if orange poop was normal, then apologized. You should never be sorry for asking questions when it comes to your kids. I'm not a medical professional, but the relation between carrots and orange poop make sense. For a first time mom, a sneeze can be concerning. Sometimes, you just need that sounding board.
When I asked why she asks me for help, she said "You're such a great mom so I think you'll have all of the answers." Wow. Let that bad boy sink in for a minute. This isn't a stranger on the street that sees my business card, put together outfit, and complete makeup. This is someone who has seen me puke on my shoes at 3 am. Who's seen me hysterical over some loser breaking up with me. She's seen me in my pj's at dinner time, with frizzy hair and a spit up accent on my 3 day old shirt. She thinks I'm doing okay?
I've always wondered, why me? I don't know what I'm doing all of the time. I put diapers on backwards for the first 2 days of P's life. I boiled bottles so long that they fused together. Because of a one time, over microwaving formula incident, I think I should be exempt from answering questions.
Those are my insecurities. I felt like I failed the day I couldn't figure out why P was crying, so I walked away to cool down. In hindsight, it was probably the best choice. I focus on the negative. To my friends, they see me helping read a book from across the room while I cook dinner, do dishes, and don't have to move to break up an altercation. We don't see ourselves as superheros but we are in our own ways.
We have so many societal pressures to be the soft spoken, kid orientated, neat freak, super model mothers of perfection, that we forget that our kids being fed, clothed, clean and on time is a huge accomplishment. We beat ourselves up way too much over split second decisions that we think define us as parents, when really, those are the moments that help us learn.
Don't say sorry for asking your mom friends questions. We may have the answer, and sometimes we may not. You're reminding us that we're doing okay, and that's nothing to be sorry for.
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