I fucking hate glitter. I mean, I'm a girl and take a look at my blog... I like pink & sparkles. Glitter is beautiful so long as it's firmly attached to whatever it's supposed to be attached to. Unfortunately that shit never works out.
Glitter is herpes. You can try to clean it, you might get rid of some of it, but you will always find more. Finally, you think you got it all! It's gone! You frolic around wearing white with the sun shining all around you like you're in a tampon commercial. Then you see it. Your personal rays of sunshine have shown you the glitter you thought you had outsmarted. Just when you thought it was gone: Bam! The glitter's like "Guess what?! I'm back bitch!"
I recently found a site that for minimal money you can mail someone glitter. What kind of sadistic asshole do you have to be to come up with this? The same person who's description on the website says "Glitter as a Service: want to piss off someone you dislike for only $9.99? Let us send them some stupid fucking glitter that is guaranteed to go everywhere." The kind of person I want to be friends with. Seriously though, Mathew Carpenter, can we be friends?
Today I was screwing around on Pinterest as any good employee does on their lunch break while eating pizza at their desk. I found another pin that caters to my OCD. Some good old How to Clean Everything in Your House tips. Then I saw it. This. #33 is the glitter fix. It says to clean up glitter with Play-Doh!
I haven't tried it, so don't go pouring glitter everywhere to test it out. You're laughing, you're not chancing that it doesn't work. If you are pouring glitter everywhere, you're one bad ass mom wielding a Dyson.
So next time someone buys your kid a craft set and you unsuspectingly open it up for them and find it contains glitter pages for colouring, glitter crayons, glitter stickers, or the devil himself: A vile of loose glitter, don't panic, grab some Play-Doh, and let me know if it works!
UPDATE: JAN 18, 2015
IT WORKS!!! I don't even know what to do with myself right now! Make it rain with glitter because I got this! Bring it on Ke$ha!
Santa had a brain fart and brought P some sparkly Elsa gloves for Christmas. They have rogue glitter and they sing everyone's favourite song Let it Go. Santa is dumb some times.
She had these gloves on and was running around singing Let it Go with dramatic hand motions that put The spirit fingers from Bring it On to shame. It looked like a unicorn exploded.
I found some Play-Doh that was adequately ruined by another test of my OCD: The mixing of colours. I made sure it was still soft enough that the glitter would stick and holy crap Batman it frickin' worked! This is the gross, dog hair covered, glitter infested blob after I cleaned the floor and the bed.
All that white stuff? Glitter. I actually feel like I conquered some evil, sparkly villain.
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