Once upon a time there was a little girl. She dreamed of being athletic like the other kids, but coordination just wasn't built into her gene make up. She was 10 at her first Track & Field meet when she didn't place in ANYTHING. Not even bean bag toss. She couldn't throw a sack of beans into the centre of a hula-hoop! But just when she thought that she was going home without a ribbon, out came the Participation Ribbon, or Pity Ribbon as I affectionately refer to it. This ribbon caused her to to endure more teasing and humiliation than when she tried to do the sprints and people were left waiting for her. The Frickin' Purple Ribbon of Doom. I'm not bitter, I swear...
Fast forward 15 years to a woman with an If-You're-Not-First-You're-Last Ricky Bobby outlook on life. I actually have a problem with saying that in every day situations. I can't bear the idea of not being the best, #1. I'm also a pretty shitty loser. Is it The Purple Ribbons' fault? Probably not entirely but I'm sure it had it's affect to some degree.
P is exactly like me that way. She is horrible to play games with because she just wants to win and the world shifts on it's axis a little if she doesn't. Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old losing at Princess Candy Land! If she can't do it right the first time she's done with it and things will be thrown. Raising a smaller me has proven it's difficulty, clearly.
On the last day of soccer everyone received a shiny metal for completing the year. I congratulated her only to hear her say "Everyone got one so it's not special." Huh.
What would happen in real life if everyone was the same? There was no rich, no poor & no middle class. You had 1 car, one house, same pay rate & same food choices as every one else. What do we call that in the adult world? Communism. Should we raise our kids to expect this treatment throughout their lives? I think we should teach them to play fair, do their best and if they have some shortcomings teach them to improve and how to bounce back. In the end they'll become stronger and more confident in taking risks with out fearing failure knowing they'll be able to pick up the pieces.
Before I get someone riled up over me being the crazy sports mom, I have to say I love the idea of fairness and encouragement in any competition or sport. Kid's shouldn't be scolded for being on the losing team, but right there, there has to be a losing team for there to be a winning team. Disappointment is a fact of life and although we should never set our kids up for disappointment, sheltering them from it isn't doing them any good. We need to be the ones to catch them when they fall, build them back up and teach them how to deal with life when lemons come their way.
I'd love to hear what other parents think of the Purple Ribbon! What's your take on this subject?
I agree with you. Sometimes you're going to fail. Praise the child that did win. It teaches your child that life isn't always about a win, and it teaches them compassion, fairness, and much more. I don't think it's fair for the pity ribbon to come out. It doesn't give the children a chance to "TRY" harder next time. I know my nine year old son, if he got a purple ribbon every time he "failed" he wouldn't bother trying to be the best. He would say "A ribbon is a ribbon mom" Yes, you did get a ribbon but you should try to get a ribbon for ACTUALLY doing the best. Whats that say for those who did try and did their very best? They'd look at it like "Why should I even try?" I would get a pretty purple ribbon anyway! I don't know maybe i'm too hard on my kids. But I want them to EARN what they receive not have it handed to them. I'm not saying your child didn't try, or none of the children tried. But a ribbon wouldn't be the way of rewarding them. It's the parents job to bring the child up after a not so winning game. We're supposed to say hey better luck next time kiddo, we will learn to kick that ball better, or throw that ball etc. But I get what you're saying. I think. :)
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