My Kid Made Me Realize I'm an Asshole

My mother and I have a very open and honest relationship. She spent most of my pre-teen and teenage years trying to deter me from choosing "the wrong path" with horror stories of her teenage escapades. Instead of taking some valuable information and thinking twice about some choices I made, it seems like I spent about 10 years trying to one-up her. 

That woman tried so damn hard to get through to me and I was a bitch. A C-word would be more accurate, but she reads my blog and she'll kick my ass if I say it! She spent every waking hour trying to reason with me and even begged me to be nice and what did I do in return? I put her down, yelled at her and threw a lot of random objects.

I put this off to teenage behavior and after much counseling, my Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Do you remember Katie-Kaboom from The Animaniancs? That was my nickname. In case you have no idea who she is:  

She would go from this...

To this...

And this is a wild Katie Kaboom in her natural habitat.

I figured that no way in hell this would be genetic so I researched it. There's no solid proof that it's in the genes, but there's a possibility. That being said, I find my self daily telling people how P is so sweet but sometimes she's a complete asshole. She is Katie Kaboom. Exhibit A:

                                            

This is because I wanted to sit with her on the couch. This is a stage 3 freak out. A 4 is in public, and a 5 is in public when she makes herself throw up. Yes, I have a Fujita Scale for temper tantrums, it's necessary.  I'm fairly certain this is how I acted as a teenager towards my mom and my God, I'm sorry. It's embarrassing, it's hurtful and I'm trying my hardest to deal with it now before it escalates into something bigger. 

Less yelling on my part? More accountability for her actions? I'm going to try it all to make sure that these 4 going on 14 freak outs are nipped in the bud. My mother used to say "I am your mother and I demand respect!" to me constantly, followed by "I brought you into this world and I'll take you out!"  Well, I am P's mother and I demand that my kid not be half the asshole I once was!